When intimacy or commitment doesn't line up, we sense it and smell change in the wind. Anticipating change often brings fear. Remember the formula for emotions: feel them, name them, interpret them, and act appropriately. When we haven't put words on our fear, we act it outinappropriately It's not unusual for one partner to use acting-out behavior in an attempt to force the other person to leave. Examples of such behaviors include the following:
Being emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive
Creating distance by withholding communication, time, or expressions of love
Failing to keep promises, such as sexual exclusivity
Acting chronically discontent and finding fault constantlythe list of problems just keeps getting longer
Withholding affectionthe day-to-day smiles or hugs that keep people together
Constantly arguing over meaningless things
No longer talking about future plans
Not returning each other's calls
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